User blog:SilverHexxitFights/One of those Tortoise moments...

Tortoises are deadly, I'll tell you that. They are biological meteorites that can just wreck you to pieces. Just the thought of going into the Jungle without Adamantite/Hallowed armor makes me worry, mostly because of tortoises (and also derplings, but they are a lesser evil).

So I thought I'd share this "Silver-is-so-spectacularly-doomed-right-now" moment I had this morning, going on a desperate run to the Jungle to get an Uzi. It turned into more than desperate.

No sooner than five seconds after I had reached the Jungle, I was mobbed. Three Derplings bounced into my field of view while a rare surface-dwelling Angry Trapper tried to make a salad out of my face. While I was dealing with them, no less than two giant missiles of flesh and shell came flying out of nowhere and almost managed to make my face into croutons.

Almost. With the Trapper dead, I hid in a hole and let my wonderfully useless Fire Imp, as well as a Vilethorn I had kept on me for these kinds of situations, take care of them. It was sad. But at least I lived.

Apparently I hadn't learned my lesson, because I decided to venture into the Underground Jungle. I still question how awake I was at that point.

Down there, it was way worse; especially since I had just gotten that message that breaks up planned boss fights like nothing else:

"The Blood Moon is rising..."

I still persevered, hoping I'd survive.

The tortoises had other plans.

While a moth distracted me, not one but three giant tortoises came sailing at my face. I had no chance.

"Silv's skull was crushed by Giant Tortoise."

As soon as I get respectable gear, I plan to change that to:

"The tortoises. The tortoises."